‘ Stop crying like a girl ! ’
If you’re a guy, you have probably heard someone say this to you multiple times while growing up, or have said this to another guy yourself. If you’re a girl and have said this to another guy, you have unknowingly portrayed women as a whiny bunch, because society is unforgiving towards the weak minded. And let’s face it, women, even without the muscular forms of men, are far more stronger.
This isn’t a debate between men and women, but about the pressures we face when it comes to expressing our deepest emotions. Society demands you to stay calm or at least pretend to project that face of fearlessness, even when the world around you is upside down.
‘ Be Fearless ! ’
And when someone tells you to be fearless, they are also implicitly emphasizing the need to mask your fears and subdue your emotions while projecting that image of strength.
Remember when you hopped onto that scary winding roller-coaster ride and you were too scared to tell your friends how deeply frightened you were ? The truth is more than half of your friends were in the same boat as you, but just like you, they were too scared to admit their fears.
Being fearless works wonders. It is that elated feeling you experience after that 30 second roller-coaster ride when your mind tells you casually
‘ you were just silly to be scared all along ’
Embracing change, opening your mind, stepping outside your comfort zone, thinking big and challenging yourself are all fantastic techniques that will allow you to conquer your fears. but are we truly addressing the elephant in the room ?
You will never be fearless, if you have always been fearful of admitting your fears !
Each day we keep learning more about issues related to mental health — depression, anxiety, loneliness, addiction etc. Even with the tremendous number of platforms available at one’s disposal, from in-person therapy to online communities, the inability to admit one’s fears is greater than what you can imagine.
I have lived by myself for nearly a decade and my family has often called me brave and fearless for managing myself like a ‘warrior’, but the truth is that I am far from fearless. I have had my equal share of fears, just like everyone else, and have pretended to be the ‘warrior’ just how society intended. But amid all this pretense, there was another side of me wanting to scream my lungs out for lacking the strength to share these fears.
Being fearless begins with an honest self-reflection of one’s feelings followed by an outspoken admission of one’s findings. Whether you share it with your friends, a therapist, an anonymous person in the virtual world of online communities or simply write about it, express your fears. Stop holding yourself back only because someone out there might shout ‘ Stop crying like a girl ! ’ Whether you are a guy or a girl, EXPRESS YOURSELF!
How can you expect the world to be true to you, when you can’t even be true to yourself?
There is never going to be an end to your fears, because as you evolve in your lifetime, you will continue to acquire and conquer fears along the way. Being fearless is an evolution that transitions from conquering the fear of that roller-coaster only to re-acquire it for a larger, scarier and more twisted roller-coaster and conquer it again!
Being Fearless begins with the Admission of Fear
Carpe Diem !