Comparison Is An Act Of Violence Against The Self – Why Your Mind Can’t Stop Comparing !?

You were mesmerized by the sharp and unapologetic writing of Mark Manson in The Subtle Art of Not Giving A F**k, agreeing to every criticism towards the norms defined by society and cursing your way through the entire book. You felt a burning rage deep inside of you when you firmly took a stand to stop caring what the world thinks about you and be proud of your uniqueness.

‘ Do hell with everyone ! ’, you shout.

The very next day, you find yourself at a social gathering of mixed elites and can’t control your mind to stop looking for differences between you and others. The comparisons keep growing as unwanted food is gorged, alcohol occupies a larger part of your working brain and you find yourself devoid of the amateur expertise of controlling your mind. You even throw in a boastful irrelevant fact about yourself, because ‘ Hey! How else do I make myself look a wee bit better ? ’

From not giving a f**k you have transitioned to a state of self-doubt over a night essentially meant for humble interactions. The good news is you’re not alone !

‘ But why can’t I stop comparing ? ’, you ask.

It is because our minds are fixated on objectifying everything we perceive when life as a whole is subjective. From wealth, fame and prosperity to love, happiness, spirituality and life itself, our brain is wired to objectify every aspect of reality.

The moment you hear wealth, the shiny bald head of the wealthiest man on the planet pops up in your brain adorned by a golden halo of $100 bills. You hear the word spirituality and you begin to picture the soothing composure of another bald headed monk beckoning you to just let go. It’s almost as if your mind is playing a secret game of hammer head portraying every object you personally identify with.hammer_head_arcade_game.jpg

Oh, don’t get me wrong. I have nothing against balding or bald people and you don’t need to involve a council to question my motives. My silly observation was only to draw your attention to how we often objectify the most extreme aspects of life, which in this case were wealth and spirituality.

Just like how your mind presents a billboard of brand logos upon hearing the word fashion, it also relives a romantic honeymoon Instagram post from an ‘influencer-traveler’ couple when you wish to objectify the subjective nature of love. You find no exits at your disposal from stopping yourself from comparing what true love must look like.

The key to stop comparing your life is to STOP the objectification of areas of life which are unique and personal to every individual. We are all on a unique journey, no matter how many similarities we may encounter through this journey of life.

Here’s some key comparisons that you can stop right now !

Wealth is not a magic number derived from the bank balances of the richest around you, but a number established through deep self reflection of one’s personal needs and desires. You aren’t poor just because you enjoy minimalism.

Fame isn’t the number of likes, retweets, followers or so called social media friends, but that feeling when your best friends and family eagerly await your arrival 2 hours in advance at the airport gate.

Love isn’t posting heavily filtered photos online in pursuit of showcasing the perfect of everything, but it is laughing through every imperfection regardless of what the world thinks.

Spirituality never demands the surrender of everyday existence to become a hermit, but is being mindful while living our mundane lives to be able to cherish the present moment amid all the chaos.

And above all …

Happiness is above and beyond the objectification of every parameter that defines it. It is completely personal and unique to your journey and has no room for comparison if you decide to disallow the practice of unwarranted objectification.

Today is the day you approach the concept of life with a changed mindset that is devoid of compressing the infinite, defining the abstract and living through the tiny lens society offered you.

Live Your Life Beyond Comparisons !

Carpe Diem !

Find Balance with Utopia Life Coaching !


14 thoughts on “Comparison Is An Act Of Violence Against The Self – Why Your Mind Can’t Stop Comparing !?

  1. Brilliant post, Aditya! ☺️
    I can totally relate to the first part. After reading any self-help book one gets pumped, certain that they can take on the world. But that feeling seldom lasts. 😁

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much Ellen! I know exactly what you mean about that invisible short lived pump that strangely demands a new self help book to be read to reappear😋


  2. Wow, I had never thought of comparison being an act of violence until now. It is easy to sink into a pit of depression once those comparisons get on a roll. The best way for me to end them is to keep a little reminder pinned above my dresser and read it every morning.

    Another major thing people compare is how they look.

    Liked by 1 person


    Welcome back! So much of what you write about is part of the beauty of aging for myself – I don’t do so much comparing anymore. It takes a concentration of gratitude every day to realize how “rich” we are in life. ( I see I practically copied what you wrote above!). Sometimes we slip backward and envy creeps in, but less and less as time goes on … again, the beauty of getting older! xo

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for the warm welcome Sandy 😊
      I agree that one starts to learn to ignore trivial comparisons over time, especially when one begins to find comfort in their own space. However sometimes this even leads to being labeled as indifferent or selfish by society. But again, who cares 😉

      Liked by 1 person


    That is true too! But exactly as you said – you just stop caring what other people, who don’t really know you, think! Loving the 50s.


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