Standing amid a crowd of thousands, human size woofers blasting sound well beyond the permissible decibel limits and barely managing to hold your space for more than a minute, you hear the DJ shout his lungs out into the microphone
‘ All you sexy people ! Put your hands up in the air and JUMP JUMP JUMP ! ’
The whole world around you is suddenly jumping, and as if you were hypnotized, you begin to jump on your feet, but soon stand still on the ground, continuing with your regular move of cheering people on.
‘ What the hell is this madness all about ? ’, you’re talking to yourself while not stopping the feigned applause.
Your friend grabs your hands and forces you into another jumpathon and you flash your biggest smile showcasing how much you’re loving it. But you’re NOT lovin’ it — you’d much rather be at a nearby McDonald’s and say I’m lovin’ it !
‘ I feel out of place. Am I weird to be the only person who just doesn’t get it ? ’
‘ Get out there man ! You just have to get out of your comfort zone. Open your world ’, they said.
‘ But I don’t want to open up my world. I’m happy in my space and I’d rather build a dome over my world ’
You’re an introvert, and so am I, and the world hates it. Even your loved ones hate it, leaving you in self doubt that wreaks havoc at the core of your existence.
How To Deal with Being an Introvert & When You Feel Like You Don’t Fit In ?
I. It’s NOT an Illness
It’s sad to even have to mention this, but society has labeled this personality as some form of disease that prevents you from being successful or sometimes even likable. This leads you to questioning yourself whether something is wrong with you, beating yourself over and over again with the voice in your head constantly telling you
‘ You’re not good enough ’
You like being alone, enjoy the quiet outdoors as opposed to noisy gatherings, take your sweet time to know a person before you jump into a tight hug on the first meeting and that’s ok ! You’re an introvert and you are not suffering from a mental illness !
II. There’s A Horde Of You & Me
‘ I don’t think anybody understands me. Even my family seems to think I’m a bit odd ’
Most introverts have trouble explaining their personality and why they do the things they do. No matter how supportive the family may be, there is a lack of understanding to offer the much needed acceptance an introvert requires in order to feel comfortable as opposed to feeling dejected and alone.
You and I are NOT alone !
There’s a horde of introverts out there, who will ‘get you’. With the internet narrowing the gaps of communication, it has become extremely easy to find like minded people through online groups and share your story. Whether you will find friends for a lifetime, is something you will know only if you try, but you will definitely not have to pretend to be someone else.
If you need a starting point for a conversation through this anonymous web interface, hit me up !
III. Cut The Negative Self-Talk
First two were easy, weren’t they ? Acceptance is easy to digest, but when you are advised to control your thoughts, it’s like sitting under the Bodhi tree like Buddha and spend the rest of your life trying to defeat every random negative thought that comes your way.
For an introvert, the easiest place to wander is a place of self-doubt resulting in unending negative self-talk. Your inner voice keeps reminding you of the inadequacies and how you’ve been wrong all along.
It’s tough, but it’s doable. Be mindful of these thoughts and notice the situations under which they come creeping at you. You will realize the root cause of most of your negative self-talk is due to the comparisons you’ve been making with everyone around you.
Switch these moments into a positive pep talk for yourself with a few small initiatives :
- Picture your most recent accomplishment and how everyone around you reacted to it.
- Figure out one reason to rank yourself higher than an extrovert you know well.
- List your values and stand by them. It is what makes you, YOU.
- Breathe and release every doubt before your thought consumes you.
If you’ve been overthinking about yourself too much lately, you might also like to read my post on Taming your Monkey Mind
Being an introvert is a personality, not an illness. And while you’re sitting quietly contemplating this post, don’t forget that the most important thing is to be who you are, no matter what the world says, and live your life on your own terms.
Listen to the Music of the Present Moment,
Blur the Noise from every Judgement.
Carpe Diem !